Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Today I did my work, it don't know if it's more, or that every level was quieter than usual, there weren't whisperings, hushed voices, conversations, or much discussion. I wonder why, but yesterday's dinner with her was fun, just relaxing and laughing along with each other till the point that I sent her home. Fun just being together, that will be an interesting challenge. It will pay off later, already we're planning a shopping trip in KL.
Work today was monotonous and dull, attended 2 meetings, endured the longer repetitive processes later that challenged the weight of my eyelids, and fought the urge to fall asleep. It was so boring, I had nothing else to do, even doing the chores didn't help my mood either. I felt really empty, unfulfilled and moody, but didn't show it, i was blank and monotonous even when she came back to see me.
Ok, I have more important issues to deal with now, damn, and I have no time for myself or to even do some proper beefing up exercise.
What can I say about my current non existent social life? She brought up my spirits, I got spirit-lifting email, but i still feel empty. I feel so superficial.
What do I want to do? I want to buy a new computer, I want to do some shopping. I want to feel genuine mutual love. Everyday through subtle minor issues, I am constantly reminded that I cannot stay in this house forever, my brother is a self-destructing self-praising asshole, my sis an idiot with sawdust for brains, dad thinks he's hitler and mom can't relinquish her position.
I must leave the house soon.
Why do I feel like this.
6:55 AM
