Wednesday, August 31, 2005
No guns, just a son's love
An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament:
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
"If you are here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me if you weren't in prison. Love, Dad"
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For heaven’s sake, dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the guns!"
At 4am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Plant your potatoes, dad. It's the best I can do for you at this time."
Spotted by Liang Kaixin.
10:40 PM
Monday, August 29, 2005
Here I am staring at the screen not knowing what to write for once but merely for the sake of writing and if you thought that previous sentence that I just wrote was pointless then you would be comforted to know that I don't care.
Today didn't feel right, have you experienced those times when the sky looks wrong, your workplace has too few people? When bustling crowds seem quieter than usual and there are less cars on the road then normal? I reached work earlier than usual, but everything was slow, nonchalant and the air felt different somehow.
Premonition?
I seem to be judged by the lesser things least seen by me. Who are they to judge me by my personality, Who are they to judge me by my family, Who are they to judge me by my intellect, Who are they to judge me by my achievements or failures in question. Are you perfect?
You can tell her proficiency has improved well enough to warrant a closer inspection, but what’s the point of even bothering? Ok fine, she knows. I know too. Maybe we all know.
I am so sick and tired of all the lies, two-faced louses and idiosyncrasies, why did I even know to expect it?
Am I even that blind not to have seen it earlier? But I knew it would come, I had anticipated it, but does that mean I need insurance for every little thing?
Maybe a little self isolation will do me good and clear my clouded mind of all disillusions.
All I need now is to be alone, but aren’t I already alone? Looks like it will be another bleak week ahead.
11:00 PM
Friday, August 26, 2005
Teenagers instant-message while they talk on the phone, download music and do homework. Adults too live with all systems go, interrupted and distracted, scanning everything... We end up overstimulated, overwhelmed and unfulfilled. Continous partial attention inevitably feels like a lack of full attention... People hunger for more attention, Full attention will be the aphrodisiac of the future.
7:49 PM
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
My Brain is going to EXPLODE.
I only have one thing to say today, PYREX is STRONG! My pyrex glassware survived a 2-metre drop unscathed. It can survive hammers, shocks, 500-degree ovens, liquid nitrogen, boiling acids and even 1-month old turkeys.
Oh well, maybe not bullets.
10:09 PM
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Overworking kills creativity
Do you know what people do in Spain? They start work at 10am or 11am, then go for lunch at 12! then SLEEP! It's a fiesta, where the whole country is practically asleep just after lunch till about 2pm+ and then they close shop for the day at 5pm! Then it's probably a quickie game of soccer and a nap before they go and Party at 3am till about 6am.
It's the same story with the Italians, probably similar in Sweden and switzerland. That's why they can come up with Leornado Da Vinci, Ferrari's, Salvatore Ferragamo What about Singapore? All we do is WORK and WORK, fulfill deadlines, expectations, prepare presentations and reports and then the government urges us to be creative when the brain is dead and exhausted.
Children get up at ungodly 5am for school, after a measly 25min recess it's another few hours of monotonous lessons, after school it's either remidials or CCAs, the same with working adults and tertiary students. In fact the average Singaporean is awake 18 hours a day.
Tell me how to be creative when we're working our butts off? Furiously studying for some totally forgettable upcoming test or rushing to meet a project deadline just to receive another project?
It's pure irony.
9:04 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
When I am an advocate of peace doesn't mean that others are and there will always be someone out there who will destroy you and you must protect yourself at all costs. Yea, I do practice a martial art, but I don't go around beating up people because I have the ability to, with power comes great self-control, restraint and discipline. You should never throw the first punch. But I will protect myself in self-defense when absolutely necessary. Discipline keeps the circle of martial arts from breaking down into an all-out ugly brawl of the arts. Ultimately the mind is still a weak sentient existence, but when molded can become a powerful weapon and ally.
Humans keep pursuing ever-creative methods of self-destruction. Humans are bound by the weakness of the mind, ever-pursuing better and more destructive weapons. Terrorism has gripped society at it's throat. People walk in broad daylight in fear, an unexploded bomb at every corner, our meaningless fragile lives terminated in an instant with no prior warning. Bodies blown to bits like the 4th of July, crazed rampages, riots, petty flagrant crimes, wars, violence, extremists, the world has changed, and not for the better. Fat lot of good all the technology we develop is going to do for us when a bomb explodes. Extremists are killing the world. It's not just the action, but the thoughts. Men can be the pillar of strength for society yet the bane at the same time.
When a man is angry, he only thinks of killing the other, but when a woman is angry, she thinks of shopping, is there any wonder why the world is spiraling out of control? There comes a time when science cannot explain everything, that's why philosophy comes in. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in science, but science cannot explain everything.
What we need in dire times like this is a policed society! Remember Judge Dredd? Each individual officer is a judge of the law, they are the judge, the police, the jury and the executioner all in one with the shoot-to-kill policy practiced. Since terrorists have succeeded in striking fear into the hearts of ordinary citizens, we need to fight fire with fire. Strike fear into the hearts of the extremists as well. While the general citizens are afraid of death. They are not afraid of death, but afraid of failure.
A policed society with shoot-to-kill when necessary will be a probable solution, but at what cost? What will be the repercussions and consequences? Remember absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Bombs, guns, bullets aren't going to do much at all, what we need is a complete clean sweep of society. Maybe there will be a divine intervention. London burnt itself down to bits; moses, his ark and the great flood, the 65million cretaceous meteorite strike, tsunamis and earthquakes, the war of Jerusalem, Babylon and the Roman empire, Qin Dynasty, 7-warring states, the age of crusaders. When a society reaches the peak of its decadence, it will simply tear itself apart. Every great empire falls eventually from internal rife.
But the question is, where do we want to be when that happens?
How nice if you can just format society and reinstall morality into the community and start all over again. The problem is Microsoft is as screwed up as society as it is.
11:17 PM
Sunday, August 21, 2005
I am shooting myself in the leg and yet I am critical of others in self-suicidal acts, what the heck did I think I was doing? I am tired, emotionally and psychologically drained, physically exhausted.
I seem to be limiting my growth and development. Everything was just peachy, and tongues are definitely wagging behind my back, I am not that dumb and I wonder when they are going to call me to relinquish my position. So meanwhile I'll just take a back stance and see if this dark cloud blows over soon.
The others are only crippling their own progress. The same old dying birds in a dying nest whilst I spread my own wings and soar, letting the wind take me where it deems fit. But is it worth it the sacrifice? Or maybe I will work to regain my lost ground in my personal integrity.
Ok, the white-FX is back online, now to retrieve my data from the hard drive in the XPC. I had a nightmare that I lost all my data and was unretrievable. I'm still working on the XPC. 5 out of 6 computers online. Network infrastructure back to 65%. Just when I am worried about data loss, this has to happen all at once, hard drive failure, dvd-rom failure, blah blah. As if I don't have enough work to do already. At least another day or so before everything will be back the way it once was. I just can already taste the words I am going to say.
Another 6 kilometers, a few hundred reps of situps and pushups, and maybe a quick round of basketball to sum up today. More activities lined up in the near future to look forward to.
11:59 PM
Saturday, August 20, 2005
The Current political joke of Singapore is our polls. Vote for presidency! Chose your president!
1) S R Nathan
2) S R Nathan
3) S R Nathan
4) All of the above
With so many choices, Singaporeans are spoilt for choice. I wonder why DPM Tony Tan didn't run for presidency. I was so looking forward to shaking hands with him in the near future. Actually that's a good move for him too, to remain in his current position leverages him to a level with substantial political influence whereas being a president is just a figurehead in Singapore politics. What a joke, the other political candidates ousted before the elections even begin. Signs of underhand political backfire by the PAP... Not overly surprising though.
8:20 PM
Friday, August 19, 2005
People say i'm headed nowhere
And I don't really care
I going to slowly die
We're all gonna die
Everybody Dyin' slow
I don't give a damn though
Everybody's gonna die,
Bombs exploding here and there
terror falling from the sky
All we can do is ask why
My entire World is falling, entire World is falling
Terrorism everywhere
Sense of security never there
Bombs! Bombs! Bombs!
Natural disasters
Earthquakes, Explosions
Horrific train accident kills dozens
People killed and a number feared dead
People are still missing, feeling hopeless
Hundreds injured and thousands homeless
Desperate robberies,
Economic slump and brazen thefts
Viruses and Hackers to
Scandals and deceit,
Rapists and Molesters roaming free
Murder and suicide everyday
Massacres and the stench of death
Freak accidents
Hit and run, crime! Fraud
Pileup, Violence, Mobs
Human corruption, sin and decadence
WAR!
WAR!
WAR!
Wait a minute, do I care?
Newspapers filled with nothing but negativity
Every page I turn,
There's nothing else to see
You tell me all the things you saw
Does it even matter at all?
You see me sittin' in the chair
Yet I ain't even here
Rain Forest burning down
Fulla Riots all around
Global warming speeding up
Poison, Mad Cow Disease!
STD's steady spreading
Viruses, epidemics ravaging
My entire World is falling, entire World is falling
"Everyday when I wake up, all I really wanna do is die
And go to the next phase where flesh and bodies consumed,
Everyone is gonna die
Am I afraid to die?
Careful it's a dark night
Give your money or your life
Take'em both for all I care
My entire World is falling, entire World is falling...
Tell me, tell me.
What the heck has the human society degraded into?
8:26 PM
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Just for Fun, I compared the Mitsubitshi Evolutions and my Panasonic FX-cameras. =D
Lancer Evolution 1 Panasonic FX-1
Lancer Evo 2 Panasonic FX-2
NONE Lancer Evo 3
Lancer Evo 4 Panasonic FX-4
Lancer Evo 5 Panasonic FX-5
NONE Lancer Evo 6
Lancer Evo 7 Panasonic Fx-7
Lancer Evo 8 Panasonic Fx-8
Lancer Evo 9 Panasonic FX-9
10:46 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
Warning this is a highly technical entryEverything is down. Just DOWN.
Sorry guys if I seem insensitive lately. Everything is just down. Down in finance, home computer infrastructure crippled, down in social presence. Everything is just down.
The more problems I try to fix, the more crops up. Anyway, lately I’ve been damn busy, one thing after another just keeps demanding my already limited attention. Now my computer system is down! The network is still up, but the complete file-storage architecture is down.
After all the shit that has happened, this is my DREAM SYSTEM.
If you just ignore all the Dell logos, this is the ideal single-cabinet server solution that I just need! I'll start from the bottom, dual APC 4.5kVA UPS 208V/120V battery backup units, then a Hitachi DLT tape-backup storage, application server (dual xeon 3.06ghz) UltraSCSI network adapter, server control panel with 19" monitor, interface server I/O, 3x cisco ultra fibreoptic gigabit switches and 6x 2U rack-mount servers.
Actually all I probably need is 2 Hitachi SAN units, something like this
This one has got 3 redundant power supply units you can see in the rear. So if one power supply fails, the others take over immediately. In the front there are 12 SATA harddrive bays, each hot-swappable, configured to a 4-drive storage with 3x redundancy. 4 Drives of 500gb to a total of 2TB configuration and 3x redundancy or configurable. So if one harddrive fails, or the system detects eminent harddrive failure, there will be 2 other harddrives to immediately take-over. Or you can set 12x500GB for a total of 6Terabytes (that’s 6000 gigabytes) of storage space.
5U storage server with 24x hot-swappable SATA HDD Bays, Intel Xeon 3.06GHz, 2 GB DDR Memory(Samsung), 3x3Ware Escalade 7506-8 RAID Card, 24xSeagate 120GB IDE HDD, 500W Zippy Redundant APFE Power Supply, Windows 2003 Server Edition
Tyan RM5025 2U Quad Opteron Rackmount Chassis w/1350W 3 + 1 Redundant Power Supply. QUAD-Opteron! Makes Intel go crying home to mommy. 4 processors on a nice 2U rack enclosure.
So maybe what I really want is 2 quad-opteron servers, 2 APC UPS backups, 2 SAN storage servers, 1 gigabit lan switch and 1 application server, a total of 28 harddrives and a APC PDU (power distribution unit) and one tower cabinet with Sanyo Denki fan ventilation system and water inter-coolers.
So when one hard drive fails, the others take over immediately, full system redundancy to prevent data disasters and nightmares like the one I am going through right now. No more harddisk crashes, viruses, spyware, com laggy, blah blah blah. All that IT headaches you and I are so familiar with.
All this would just be a memory if only I had. . .
$12k + $12k + $4k + $28k + $4k + $6k + $10k = $76k
76k!!!Soon I'll put up some pictures on the complete computer surgery under going in my room.
STOP WHINING LIKE A BABY AND FIX IT.
FIX FIX FIX!!! So I hereby stop whining and back to fixing my baby. Computers need love too. This is what happens when there's no love..
Someone give me seventy-six thousand dollars and I'll advertise whatever you want to advertise here.
7:51 PM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Very tired now, enjoy these pictures. FX-Taken at today's Singapore Fireworks Festival
11:16 PM
Friday, August 12, 2005
Today sucked, my mind was on school in fact I feel miserable, frustrated, uncomfortable and easily irritated. All for what? I feel something is missing in my life right now, all I want to do is sip a coconut drink, snuggle with a special someone in a hammock and falling asleep soaking up the sun under 2 coconut trees in an isolated hawailian island a hundred miles away from civilization with no worries.
But that will never meant to be.
I feel so tired and drained, devoid of any energy with no resolve nor drive and blurred goals in sight complicated with undefined objectives in my fuddled and clouded mind. I feel weak.
I went back to school to tie up a few loose ends. Did it even go well?
11:22 PM
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Today's training was totally screwed up. Not only did I not achieve my personal target of my share of stunts and self-improvement techniques, it was completely screwed up with no progress at all. What the heck was I doing during the whole training? I feel that I am stagnating in my skills and abilities while others surge ahead with their skills. I need to see improvement! Power! Progress!
Not only that, I think it's a damn conspiracy, everytime I am so eager to run with them on the track, cold water is just poured like no tomorrow. When I run with them, they deliberately run slow, when I join them, they deliberately stop. F***, it's just so damn irritating, and to compound that, whenever I am optimistic and brimming with enthusiasm and energy, I am maligned as being hyperactive and "crazy". Goddammit. I am CRAZY Right? Insane, mad, psychotic, self-delusional hyper-maniac.
Right now I don't feel so bonded with the club anymore, it's slowly detiorating, oh hell ya, I tried my very best to hold it together, since when am I irresponsible? Did I not do my job in the comm? Uphold my responsibilites and come for every single training? Am I an irresponsible person when it concerns my comm post in the club? Then why am I treated like an outsider? A nobody.
Ok fine, so just tell me that you don't want me to run with you guys, and I won't.
Then it's dinner time, yeah, I am so happy and looking forward to it because these days we have one big group strength all going for dinner together. United group.
Today that didn't happen. I don't know WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED. WTF One moment we were one large big group, the next moment, one large group of more than 15 suddenly
disintegrated into nothingness. First people just disappeared, when I went back to ask, they weren't interested, mumbling something about being tired, Oh hell ya, I am tired as well! Yet no one said they weren't eating till the very last second! Then the moment I turned around there was no one! I was so pissed.
WTF One large group
vaporized. No word, no notice, nothing. Just go ahead and disappear.
What's the point of me looking forward to a nice group dinner and waiting for everyone when no one cares? Just disappear like that and give others the impression that dinner is at hand huh. There's no point waiting for others for so long anymore because no one cares.
dammit man. Don't bother waiting for others anymore coz they won't wait for you.
It's late, I'm tired, and dinner was damn disappointing.
11:03 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Ok, today is National Day, Singapore's 40th birthday. All I managed to do is finally finish fixing the computer and it's back up and running again with dual 250gb sata harddrives, 160gb Maxtor and a 40gb Quantum fireball that I'd forgotten I had. A total of 700gb of storage on the main computer now.
So after all the sweaty hours that I spent last night, the computer is now back at 100%.
Why the hype over national day? Singaporeans are really hypocrites, they complain about everything that is under the sun, how the government is so unfair, how they have to spend 2 years in NS, the lousy A-level system, the long waiting times into university entry, the ambiguous university entry criterion, O and A level stress, lousy grassroots service, lousy this and that, expensive hdb flats and the list goes on. Complain about everything, ostracize TT Durai when he has done an incredible job.
Actually I've written another long entry about the NKF saga or the TT Durai scandal, Singaporeans have just been too shortsighted about that issue. NKF is a professional medical institution, they need the money to operate their sophisticated equipment and hire professionals. Don't be so narrow minded and look at his pay or the damn infamous golden tap.
He deserves more that what he's getting and the NKF has done an incredible job. The only thing that I am not happy about is NKF's finance management, why only 10% to the patients?! And why do you need 40% for publicity? I'll be alright with 10% publicity and 40% patients. Still the staff to patient ratio is ridiculous, 1.5 to 1. That's like having 3 maids in a 5-member family. Why the heck would you need 1 staff to attend to 1 patient? That's really inefficient, but if TT Durai had kept his mouth shut, none of that scandal would have happened. Nevertheless Singaporeans are quick to criticize and complain and slow to open up and do their part. Complains are part of the 'C' society, kiasusim is a disgrace to foreign tourists.
With the ugly side of Singaporeans aside I admit that I am one myself and probably no different. Still it's unfair to keep complaining while the government even with it's flaws, does an incredible job of keeping Singapore prosperous and safe. How many other countries can boast this fact?
No system is perfect, but our government is doing a damn good job. So guys stop whining and serve NS with pride. Without NS, our country is nothing. Just be glad you're born here and not in Iraq or Afghanistan.
This year's national day parade is probably no different from the last 3 that I've been too more times than I can count. The usual F-16 flyby, GOH contingent marches, red Lions commandos parachuting, then come the silly floats and mass dances and fireworks and yay everybody goes home happy. I didn't bother to even watch, from what I heard from the TV in the living room they tried to spice things up by splitting up the parade in different areas in Singapore. Padang, Yishun, Marina South, Jurong East and Tampines.
Sang Nilah Utama, motorized armored vehicle drive-pass, some weak attempts at trying to spice up the parade this year. I wonder what they can think of next year?
STOP WAVING YOUR FLAG ON NATIONAL DAY and pretending to be happy or patriotic. Instead serve your NS with pride and not scorn. Serve NS, help charities, prevent crime and be filial to your parents and faithful to your spouses.
Serve the nation that bourn you and stop complaining.
That's what makes you Singaporean
10:09 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
When I said I will be getting a 1GB Thumbdrive, I didn't mean this.
8:57 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005
Finished reading all of Dan Brown's books.
All 4 books get 3.5/5 stars, with the Da Vinci code getting 4/5. I must say he's an incredible writer, good plot development, extremely great reader entrapment (once you start reading, you can't stop but keep reading.) Great plot twists and unexpected event turn-abouts. He can keep you on a high-climax for a long time. Unfortunately, shallow plot, shallow character development, weak situation description and abrupt ending.
Tom Clancy is still my favourite, Michael Critchton closely following.
10:36 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
I wonder if today I woke up from the wrong side of bed, feeling sleepy and whoozy. The alarm clock screamed impatiently, the sky crying her heart out, the wind unrelentlessly cold, the bus unbelievably late, and the workload incredibly piled.
Now I feel a little bit sick knowing I am going to blow 1.8k the day after tomorrow all at once. I'm buying a new computer!
Since I am so indelibly moody these few days, punctuated by the gloomy weather and complemented by the mundane workload. I am going to write up a shopping list for my upcoming retail therapy package.
First! 1.8k on a new computer, Shuttle XPC SN25P with AMD 3500++ FX-939 processor, 1GB Cosair Ram, 250Gb Hitachi SATA drive and a Sapphire Radeon x700 Pro 256mb Graphics card.
Next! Water proof all-weather clothing, considering the nature of the weather, waterproofing is a must! Why settle for old-fashioned umbrellas? Go for high-tech GORE-TEX material!
First I'll be getting my heavy duty boots. The Columbia Titanium Altasaurus Pass GTX hiking boots with GORE-TEX GCX lining and Titanium insoles. I've now got titanium tennis and badminton rackets, maybe one of these days I'll get the SantaCruz Titanium frame bicycle and a titanium bezel watch.
Columbia Titanium Altasaurus Pass GTX
Frontier Peak GTX™
Which one do you think is nicer?
Next!
Titanium torchlight
Suunto Observer Wristop Computer Watch w/ Altimeter, Barometer, Compass (Titanium)
Now we'll see who's TOUGH.
8:28 AM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
What you gonna do if your life's
like a wheel of fortune
And what you gonna do
If that wheel lets you down
My mind and soul
Feeling so disillusioned
Just bet you might win
Stop acting cool
I feel like a goddamn fool
Don't push me to say
I don't want you to see it
There's no need to...
My friends, my final pillar
Don't want to see it crumble
My life is fraught with pain
That's the way I have to live it
My confidence all shattered
My dreams all faded
Everytime the words don't come out
Everytime I yell out loud
Nobody seems to hear,
Nobody wants to hear.
What you gonna do if your life's
like a wheel of fortune
And what you gonna do
If that wheel lets you down
Every time things go wrong
It tastes like steel
Like a stab from a knife
Do you even feel it?
Do you even know it?
What to do when there's no turning back
Don't know the path! Don't see the light!
Is it even there?
Is it ever fair?
10:15 PM
Monday, August 01, 2005
Only 4 more weeks to go! My patience is wearing thin. What is the only driving force for me now? My frustration was probably my body's inability to keep up with my physical demands. I am frustrated with my slow physical progress, why the heck can't I do a backflip? I think by now my legs should have enough power. It's already been 2 years! I just can't muster enough guts to cross the fear barrier. My first jump will either be successful or I break my neck and become crippled for life.
If I am successful, then my physical progress will leapfrog in leaps and bounds in quantum steps. If I fail, that's the end. The thing is, when can I do it? Or when will I dare to do it? It's damn frustrating to have be stagnant for so long with no noticeable progress. I'm being held back!
Then am I saying my body cannot handle the physical demands of work? Why am I feeling so tired all the time? Nuclear battery. What a joke. Injuries everywhere, backache probably due to spinal compression, pulled right thigh muscle, twisted ankle, multiple abrasions and bruises on lower extremities. It's a constant uphill struggle and I can't seem to get anything else extra done. I have to start sacrificing what's important to me in order to continue feeding the ever-mounting demands. Is my body telling me I can't do it? I'll never accept that as an excuse!
Things like sacrificing outings with friends and giving lame shallow excuses. At this rate I am going to lose the friends that I've worked hard to hold on to. I have lost many and I am going to lose another. Dammit, will others ever understand? It's all my fault isn't it? The reprecussion effects of the sudden surging breakdown in my social integrity is the cumulative buildup of social tension due to the negative effects of personal mismanagement.
I've bitten the bullet and declined two outings in the last 2 days by 2 friends. All because of what? And from that decision I've lost more than I've gained.
There's no one else to blame but myself.
But I've got friends right? With each fall, I pick myself up and try all over again.
11:05 PM
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