Friday, October 28, 2005
Today I did etching in the morning, wearing the shirt garnered alot of unnecessary attention and I don't think other's look upon my attire with much appreciation. It's a shirt that brings about mixed emotions and probably unease and irritation.
I did some work, but wasn't personally satisfied with what I've accomplished today. It seemed insignificant. Later we had training, I think my behavior in class today was less than exemplary, I keep reverting back to my old bad habits and personality and I am cursed with such a monster in me. I've met this great guy and I've actually learnt a lot from him. I will have to learn even harder.
I want to say this, even though my project is not progressing rapidly now, I had a few pleasant dreams the day before, I dreamt about Ting Ting! This is only a dream, but it was so vivid and clear I had to convince myself it never happened.
We met in Kuantan on a wooden bridge surrounded by flora and fauna of the light jungle, a suspension wooden bridge over a gentle and rather shallow stream of clear mountain water. We met heading towards opposite directions, but somehow, we ended up walking the same direction, chatting about old happy times, breathing the fresh clean untainted air of mother nature and listening to the wonderful drone of birds chirping and the call of the chicadas. It was the most pleasant dream I've ever had this month with all the project work going around.
My closest friends will know what happened between us almost 5 years ago. We were close, until a force powerful enough to rip apart friends came between us. It's called betrayal and dissention. I won't go into specifics. If you are reading this and you know, then you know, if you don't, you don't. There's a dark side of my life that I don't wish to talk about, and maybe it's better to leave you all in suspense. Still I will always remember her for all the memories we shared and I respected her a lot. Even now I can still dream something like this.
I'll never forgive the person who did this to us.
It's called hatred.
11:51 PM
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Another Day passesToday was a slow day, nothing much was accomplished, but at least the report is all but almost finished, and I went to SLS during lunch to buy some components, found out (naturally) that all the stuff there is so much cheaper than cutthroat farnell. We got some micro-clips from Farnell at $3 apiece, and it was selling for $0.80 at Slt. Got myself a Kyocera buzzer, a 90-deg spst push-button and some crocodile clips. Yea. I thought of getting an amplifier but whatthehell, I'll make my own. I'm actually thinking of making a usb-powered audio amp! =) 5v power from the usb port! But that will be later, maybe a 1-5watt audio amp powered by usb. Hope I don't fry my xpc man.
Then I saw a brand-new compressor at Kaichin going for $80! It's those heavy duty types man. Sigh if only I had 600 million dollars, I'll build my own dream house, have my own stealth fighter jet and stealth battlesuit among other things. I'm drifting here. So many things to do, so many things to make, but bogged down by so many problems. If only everything was as easy as sweet talking.
I didn't do much and left early. You have secrets, I have secrets, we all have secrets but at least I did something beneficial today, tomorrow is going to be another long day.
Life is miserable alone.
8:57 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I am beginning to feel the effects of fatigue from working 12-18hrs a day. Neglecting my health, fitness, friends and loved ones. Today I went to school, worked half-heartedly, feeling rather desolate at the magnitude of obstacles before me that I have to overcome. They went for lunch and I've already long decided to stay alone.
I am working way past the physical limits of my tolerance. Everyone has their limits and I am encroaching mine. I just wonder how much more abuse can my body take before it gives way. But what the hell right? It's not like I've never been beaten before. Just how much more can I truly take? I've yet to see significant progress and time and time again I question myself. What truly drives me? What pushes me to do what I am doing now? What am I even doing now? I will continue to forge ahead till I hit an impenetrable barrier. But nothing is impossible and I have to do what I must.
Then after school, I braved my tired and exhausted soul to do what I must, only to be met with failure. It wasn't a total loss. I am numbed by failure.
I don't even feel human anymore.
11:56 PM
Friday, October 21, 2005
After reading my own previous entries, I realized how depressing they were. But what am I supposed to do? I have so much to say, but since I was boiling at the tip of my cauldron of frustration, after listening to some depressing music and taking a shower, I guess I've pretty much cooled down now. Ok let's talk about the events that have occurred today. First I went to school, etched the new PPG and Bluetooth PCB after re-doing the PPG design. That took up pretty much the whole morning, and later I didn't go for lunch with them. I ate by myself and I guess this would be the start of the many lunches that I wouldn't be eating with them. I can't believe they didn't wait for me! But it's fine by me because I know why.
Then as we resumed our work, today is Friday and the project room is really quiet. In fact almost the whole ECE room was practically empty was testimonial, everyone had left earlier today as well. My computer was screwing up and I was at the end of my patience. I think my SD memory card has crapped up, with that losing some data on it.
Then later we found out that the etched boards didn't work because of a printing glitch. The error was only discovered after I had finished soldering the board when it didn't work and didn't tally with the schematics. I but I guess it's my own fault. Both boards were now useless. The whole day wasted! I felt irritated and damn frustrated. It's all my own damn fault that the boards don't work because I am the one doing the hardware isn't it?
That means I practically haven't done anything at all today, and to think I was actually happy about the outcome and finished Bluetooth holder board! When can I actually finish the final prototype for my project? Everything is screwing up, nothing that I make works, everything that I touch spoils. None of the 6 deliverables have been done. What the hell have I been doing all these weeks? Screwing around with my computer? People say I am working hard. Working HARD? What can I show for my project now? Nothing. Nothing at all.
After that my mood was really lousy and reaching the limits of my patience. I still had so much more to do but there's this barrier preventing me from doing it. So I didn't do anything else for the rest of the day.
It's like running a marathon to the finishing line elated only to discover that you've been running the wrong race. You give up.
But I swear, the countless times I have met with failure on this project. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. It's just that I am running out of patience and nerve to keep redoing and redoing all the boards over and over again when you discover the smallest of errors.
When people ask me "How is your project?" I grit my teeth and say "It's bad" or "it's fine so far" or "I am working on it". I am lying through my teeth, disillusioned, misleading everyone else who really cares for the progress of my project.
I was befuddled. What was wrong with all the visions of grandeur that I had predicted would come out of my project? The lives I am going to save? The breakthrough that it will bring? It's all a fiasco. A damn hoax. A piece of useless PCB board with solder and copper.
The bus seemed to take forever to come.
I am sacrificing my life, my nights and my time for what I had to do. It was useless. I didn't learn anything new. But I have to do it. Alone. I will shoulder all the burden by myself. I have made this decision and I will endure every moment of it. Even more sacrifices will have to be made on my own expense.
I don't know why I am doing this. Why am I making myself miserable? Going all alone and waiting for the bus all alone, thoughts wondering everywhere, why am I doing this? When I could be happy in the company of a loved one, hang out with friends. Do I chose achievement over life? Lets see how long I can keep this up. The people passing by seemed to leer with crooked smiles as if in anticipation of my failure.
There are so many times I have visions of me giving up and failing the project. Failing myself. Failing everything that I've worked so hard for. Failing my partner. Failing everything completely. I've even felt the overwhelming temptation to give in to exasperation.
But I cannot fail! I cannot fail because I have a project partner to answer to. Because of my project partner, I will work even harder than I already am. I will achieve what I had set out to achieve. If I fail, my partner fails. I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE OF MY OWN SELFISHNESS.
I am now alone, miserable, frustrated and I have to bottle it all up. Nobody understands, not my family, my classmates nor my friends. It's because I chose to face it alone. I am bottling up all my frustration, because I can't vent it anywhere else, not through violent means, hitting a sandbag doesn't make me feel better, eating doesn't make me feel better. So here I am typing this miserable post.
I am truly sorry to all those who are affected around me. Especially my project partner, I know she's facing unnecessary stress from me and having to face my moodiness all day is extremely unfair, I am so glad she's able to tolerate my crappy attitude and sloppy work. I am feeling pretty much screwed up myself.
Never felt such hoplessness and despair before. I am truly remorseful to all those in my project room when they see my black face all day. You think cursing and swearing profanity would work? Dammit I think I am working pretty hard myself! Why isn't anything working?
So I have thought of the perfect solution. Since they don't want to wait, I'll have lunch by myself everyday during this project period. So for an hour or so my project mates won't see my pathetic face and they can enjoy their lunch and relax amongst themselves. After all since I am not wanted in their presence, I shouldn't see why I have to make their lives as miserable as mine. They'll enjoy their lunch and I'll do my work.
"No FX for an hour! Yay isn't that great guys? He isn't here! Let's eat our food happily."
Why tolerate my lousy mood in the first place? So I won't join them for meals and I'll eat my own solemnly in solitude. So they'll have a great dinner too! Nothing like a bad mood to ruin and spoil the whole day and destroy everyone''s appetites when it can be avoided. The solution is very simple, I don't eat with them.
Why? Firstly they don't want me there, so they quietly plan meals to eat amongst themselves, and they don't tell or inform. So it's fine with me, I hope all my project mates in my project room enjoy their meals as well. Secondly, my mood stinks, so I don't want to spoil everyone's moods so I eat alone. Life is as simple as you want it to be ain't it? Loneliness has always been a friend of mine. I will throw myself into self-exile from them so that I won't spoil their moods with my own cursed black face.
I reached home late. Cold, tired, hungry, and ready to snap at everyone who tried to speak to me. I am such a bane to this world. I am a living infection, a curse, a walking virus. Sucking up all happiness and joy around me because of my selfish emotions. When people are generally concerned I snarl back, I smite their genuine concern. I bite the fingers that feed me. I am a curse to society.
The next solution is even simpler. To prevent me from flaring up, scolding vulgarities or profanity or accidentally hurting anyone with my acid words especially my project partner. I will refrain from all interaction with friends and loved ones. Self-isolation will be the ideal solution to my problem. People who talk to me i will just give blunt monotonous replies, I'll only talk as much as I have to. I will avoid confrontation or even conversation with classmates. This is to prevent me from blurting out something that I may not wish to say. They say I am stressed in the centre. I AM NOT. Just do your own work happily and leave me alone to my own miserable thoughts. Frustration will be bottled up. I WILL DO MY OWN WORK MYSELF and solve my own problems myself.
Dear Diary, you're all that I have left.
You are only as miserable as you want to be.
10:53 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Let's see what the hell I can write for today. Today sucked. Period. Let's start from the beginning. I reached later than initially planned, it was a plain lack of self-control. The whole day was pretty much mundane. Even though we successfully tried out the new accelerometer board and successfully got the graphs taken down, I feel that we haven't achieved much in our project at all and progress today has been lackluster.
Lets see, merely 2 out of 6 deliverables have been done and a whole pile of work stacking up for me to do. I have been working hard, but have I been working hard enough? Maybe I have to work even harder. Today's testing did yield some encouraging results, but it wasn't conclusive work, nothing has yet to materialize in design and the VPP period is almost over. We only have 1 week left!
I am starting to doubt my project. Whether I will be able to successfully complete it in time. Later while I was working, I learnt about something really hurtful and depressing. Dammit, it's really my curse to have such sensitivity. It's a damn curse. Looks like I will just have to live with it.
So I don't have to write what I felt next, if you can't understand so far, then there's no point reading on. Later problems kept mounting to knee-crushing levels. The budget form was rejected by SU, I have to find a way to solve that, my project is stagnating, and tomorrow I have a symposium to run and I have no presentation ready for it yet. Everything last minute, limited progress and productivity and nothing but insurmountable problems that seem determined to crush all positive psyche.
So I left earlier than planned. I don't think I was wanted there anyway. My com went wonky just before I left, my mood was somber and grey. Later on the bus, I found out that I was lost when I couldn't recognize any of the road signs at all, so I dropped off at a completely alien location, with no clue where to go or what bus to take except to turn back to where I came from. It was raining, I was lost, wasted a lot of time and money and haven't achieved what I had set out to achieve. I was irritated, frustrated, stressed, pissed and just extremely disappointed with myself for getting myself in such a joint without proper planning or a back up plan. In the end I gave up and headed for home after failing to do what I had planned to do.
It's been a bad day and my mood is all screwed up. Tomorrow is just going to be the same if there's no breakthrough in my project. It's a downhill graph and it's just getting steeper. I wonder if my effort is just vaporizing into the thin acrid air. All the effort put in without seeing any return as of yet. Have you ever felt like hitting a wall only to realize the wall is mocking you?
11:53 PM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
What am I doing?It feels like the most shattering year ever, over the last 10 months, there have non-stop natural disasters, starting from last December's tsunami, the March Sumatra earthquake, typhoon Kaunun, Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Stan in the past two months and now, the Kashmir earthquake. The death toll and doomsday predictions are on the rise with global temperatures peaking at a record high level of 0.41degrees rise this year alone. It's time to take action and stop procrastination.
After church, I sat down in front of my computer for the whole day! Close to 18 hours! I feel guilty because I haven't been exercising at all after the grading over a week ago. All that has been on my mind has just been my FYP project. It's time to work even harder than I've ever done before. More sacrifices must be made. Apparently I gave myself more of a headache than I had intended to, now that my project seems harder than I originally anticipated to be. It's time to work even harder than I've ever done before. More sacrifices must be made.
Apparently I gave myself more of a headache than I had intended to, now that my project seems harder than I originally anticipated to be. My FYP has 6 major deliverables, the 3 sensor modules, the inductance charger (that itself can be a complete project), the bluetooth module (2 other groups are just doing this very thing and it's only 1/6 of my project!), and last but not least, the GB60 Microprocessor board. Since my project is 6 times tougher than other groups, I have to work 6 times harder. So people work 9 hours a day (45 hours a week), I gotta work 45x6 = 270 hours! (One week only has 144 hours). And to think I was the one who thought of this idea, and proposed this project. What an idiot I have been. But what's life without a little challenge!
Someone once accused me of having no life. Do I? Maybe I don't, but then again, what is the meaning of life?
11:33 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Summary of the WeekLets see, I've been extremely busy this entire week and for what I still don't know why. Nothing seems to have been done and I don't know whats my motivation or drive to work so hard, and to amount to what? I haven't seen any fruit of my labour yet and have begun to start wondering what is my objective in life at all.
Grading was on Sunday and we're one step closer to black, on Monday we resumed our FYP project. Then a pleasant surprise! The Sabah guys came to the bme centre! They got acquainted with the clubhouse and everyone got comfortable, we had a great lunch at pizza hut. It's really fun to be back with them again, everyone had a great time at Pizza hut, and later they went shopping whilst we returned to do our project. Now that they've all given me their photos, the 4 cameras amounted to some 2000 photos to compile!
Tuesdays was another extremely busy day. Lots of work to do and meetings with several teachers at the same time I will be planning another meeting for the post-Sabah trip in conjunction plans for the next gathering, sending out emails and such, then I was also expected to organize a science symposium for some secondary school students to show them what the BME course is all about. I couldn't specifically remember sitting at my desk for more than 10 minutes at a time.
Bad luck comes in groups. Wednesday, I was extremely busy today and was hit with a lot of mishap, I started the day with meeting. Then my laptop gave in, bad luck always comes in groups, and we found out that our Acceleratometer board doesn't work and we suspect it's fried because of Electrostatic discharge. BAD LUCK. And worse still, we don't even have a proper working sensor circuit board at all, I never felt so discouraged before. It was bad news one after another and I went back to school empty handed and not knowing what to do for the rest of the day.
Thursday, it was a struggle throughout the whole day. Racking our brains for another alternative and nearly at wits end with ideas, but we always followed our ideal. Never give up. Never quit, all problems are solveable. It was depressing. Then the day closed with another meaningless, no-objective-in-sight meeting.
Friday, we started the day with a heavy heart as I told my partner that we had to purchase the board. The cost was exhorbidant by our standards but our spirits were lifted up with the Sabah meeting! Almost everyone came down to the AVA room and we had alot of fun recollecting and we are already looking forward to the upcoming chalet.
Then guess what? Some guy from UPS called me and said that there was a package from me and handed me a large box with a full smile. I looked at him quizzedly and was really puzzled why I had such a package. I didn't specifically remember ordering anything so large.
Guess what? WE GOT A free Acceleratometer KIT1390MMA7260Q Evaluation board! We were elated, (And to think I was the one in charge of the hardware), it was a large package, about the size of 2 shoeboxes, and we were so happy to receive it! Later I also received another package from DHL from Analog Devices for some quad Op-amps.
FINALLY SOME GOOD LUCK. After one whole week of dawdling around with black faces because of the lack of project progress, sometimes some people need some luck.
When the fanfare died down, I stayed late while everyone left earlier, guess what? At about 8pm, without completing much work, I simmered all the way home due to the lack of progress or limited productivity that made me feel frustrated.
Sucky friday, things ain't going my way
Everything is wrong, what the heck is going on
Saturday. Ran some errands, got irritated by an incompetant nurse, wasted time in a queue and finally settled down to get some work done.
7:06 PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Sabah Trip 24th September - 8th October
Day 1
Today we went to Senai airport and took the flight MH2620L, 2hr 20min flight to Kota Kinabalu and had a simple meal onboard the plane, service was relatively good and we landed without incident at Sabah airport The airport itself is very simple, with only two retrieval belts and a direct exit out, then we took a coach to City Park Inn to put our bags.
Then it was a shopping trip to Plaza Lucky to buy our groceries and food for the trip to Kampung Kiau, everyone was well coordinated and we successfully purchased all groceries before heading back to the inn.
Shopping was fun, we bought over 3 trolleys and 400RM worth of food! We went for a really long dinner at a rather nice restaurant and each of us enjoyed ourselves, taking some photos although the food wasn't that fantastic, Yi Shi and Sara livened up the mood with their songs and interaction. The ambience of the place was very romantic, with the candle lighting up the evening and the gentle sea breeze and swishing of the waves accompanied our dinner late into the night.
Day 2 – 25/9/05 Manukan Island Snorkeling
Today we're going to Madukan islands for snorkeling! Lets start with the day's events and happenings, I fried some scrambled eggs in the morning, then we had our breakfast at a old-school style coffee shop that seems to be plentiful and took a short walk down the giant Pasir, it's the Kota Kinabalu Sunday market, just like a night market, but only on Sundays and in the daytime. To say it was big would be an understatement. The market place could rival the size of Chinatown and it just had the likes of it too, makeshift shops selling all sorts of items, food, groceries, electronic to hardware, souvenirs and even pets.
Then we headed over to Manukan islands for snorkeling, the water was relatively clear and extremely shallow. It's a small island, somewhat like Sentosa but far more remote and primitive, with almost no modern buildings or tourist resorts present, maybe a few chalets but that's about it. Snorkeling was a welcome relief from daily routine, but it could have been better. The coral reef wasn’t exactly fantastic or appealing as depicted in documentaries, it was pretty lifeless, but there were plenty of brilliant fishes, some coral, sea cucumbers and starfish. After that we went trekking
along a short 1.5km hilly running trail.
We saw monitor lizards and when we reached the end, we went by the treacherous rocky seaside with sea spray hitting the rocks from all sides, and we took a lot of cool pictures. After that we had a open-air dirty-water shower, and we went to Pulau Gaya, where Ariff did his previous YEP project.
The place there was really poor and to the residents, the sea was their life. Houses stood on stilts above the sea, and sewage directly dumped in, fishing and swimming was the natural pastime. The place was sparsely populated with nucleated houses along the coastline and furniture was modest. But the children were happy just jumping into the sea at every opportunity. It was a real eye-opener, we visited the chief’s house, but unfortunately couldn't stay for long and we headed back for dinner and back to the hotel for debrief and reflection.
Day 3 – 26/9/05 Off to Kampung Kiau
Today I helped out with the logistics purchasing, breakfast was a simple roti prata, then we packed and left at 10am for Kampung Kiau. It was a morning rush with Qinyi, Samantha, Yong Ming and I buying the last bit of provisions, while everyone loaded up on the bus.
The bus ride lasted a little over 2 hours, and it was a mesmerizing ride up the mountain at the hands of a skilled busdriver who drove like Takumi in initial D minus all the drifting. He negotiated the mountain driveway like a pro. When we went up the mountain, we transferred into smaller vans. It was a fun and pleasant half and hour ride and we took a lot of pictures of the scenery. Then it was settling down at our new "home" for the next week or so.
There are 3 areas in Kampung Kiau, and we're in the last area, 1500m above sea level. The temperature is about 20 degrees C and it rained a torrent today. When we moved up the mountain, there were children climbing up and down after school ended! They do it everyday! Walking by foot. A really different side of life over here, but the mountains and low-lying clouds are really beautiful.
Then half of the group went out to buy food and I helped out with everyone to settle down, moved our luggage and the group leaders assembled to decide on the ground rules. (Yi Shi, Jian Xiong and I were the group leaders) but Jian Xiong and logistics head Lloyd were out buying provisions. I led on the presentation of the layout, ground rules, hierarchy etc and my group was very efficient, Qinyi, Jia Jun, Wilson, Samantha and Yew Ming and Sara started cooking as soon as we were settled.
At night we had a really sumptuous dinner cooked by Jia Junn, Qinyi, Samantha, Yew Ming and Wilson. Eggs, chicken, vegetables and rice. It was a great to eat such food in a camp! And the food exceeded all expectations.
Today's my first sentry shift. I saw 3 shooting stars in the clear blue sky and omg the sky was so beautiful with all the star constellations visible because of our high altitude! Plus we also saw fireflies for the first time, but they're so dim, the stars are just priceless and it’s so beautiful and a pity my camera can't take photos of such a view. Starry starry night...
Day 4 – 27/9/05 Tuesday
We still haven't started construction today but I spent the morning preparing breakfast, sardines and milo. Most of us has already adapted very well to the cold and we all learnt something from the cold last night, which I estimated the temperature to be about 18 deg C and last night we discovered that there was reception from celcom outside the room and the looks on the faces of those who managed to send out a message or call their families.
I took the morning PT, =) prepared the milo and mostly spent the rest of the day cooking beehoon. I really learnt a lot of new recipes from Jia Junn. I spent the morning chopping vegetables and frying beehoon for lunch. The rest spent their time laying stones at the toilet to prevent it from getting so muddy. Then it rained really heavily after lunch and there was nothing we could do and the guys really thought of a few crazy stuff, which was to bathe in the rain! So the guys and I bathed in the frigid rain, it was cold. COLD. Then we hung up our clothes in the rain to wash as well! "Auto" wash for several hours.
Then it was chatting time and we were playing games, at night after dinner, we had a life journey presentation.
Day 5 – 28/9/05 Wednesday
Yesterday we took a short walk up the mountain to visit a school and a church, both similar condition as our kindergarden, modest wooden buildings. I am very proud of my group for being so efficient. The sun here sets really early and rises as early as well, at about 5.30pm it starts to get dark and at 6am it's almost bright. The interesting thing is that you don't need an alarm clock and you automatically wake up at 6am! Breakfast then PT by me again, Ariff, Jian Xiong and Mr Low contributed with some yoga.
Then we cooked lunch, my group and I and the guys worked their labour but nothing has been done for the clinic yet. Then after lunch, we had a short nap before the guys worked on improving the pathway and we cooked, basically Wilson, Sara, Qinyi, Samantha, Yi shi and I stayed back while the others went down to the waterfall to hit the water and find fruits.
Then when the others came back, we had a great dinner and Ariff, Mr Low and Wilson were talking a little bit about their religion and Frances told his life story. I learnt a little bit more about cooking today. I slept soundfully at night.
Day 6 29/9/05 Thursday
Gracefully the sun was up today, it rains everyday here at Kg Kiau. I was feeling much better since yesterday. I took PT again and half the group went to the city to stock up on provisions. Breakfast was a really nice meal cooked by group 2. Then the pace of life here is just too slow! I got really irritated by the carpenter's lacklusture and couldn't-care-less-attitude. We've been here for 4 days and yet nothing has been done! At this rate, we’re never going to achieve the objective we came here for.
But later, Ariff managed to persuade the carpenter to work and we got about sawing wood for the windows, it wasn't much, at least it was a start and we finished about 5 wooden window frames while it was raining. So Wilson, Qinyi, Yet Wei, Lloyd, Ariff and Jian Xiong helped out in the construction. There'll be a lot more to do tomorrow! While waiting for dinner, it was another freezing shower. It was c-o-l-d. But dinner was alright. Later Ariff talked about his firefighting NS duties. Then everyone wanted to sleep earlier and so lifestory was postponed.
Day 7 30/9/05 Friday
Today is already Friday! Time flies and we're going white water rafting tomorrow. Yesterday night's temperature was the coldest of all, I think it was about 15 deg C or colder, especially with the clouds floating right by. Then after breakfast we resumed our work, there were lots of wood that had to be sawed, and hammered to build the window frames. Work was done in a production manner and very efficiently. We completed leveling the wall, building all the windows and started with planking the wall. 2 out of 6 walls are now complete and we stopped work due to the heavy rain.
Today's work progress was good, but later we heard that the chief's attitude was also a couldn't-care-less about the project and they had to threaten him before anything was done and now they’re working overtime. The weather over here is weird. It's been raining heavily everyday at this high altitude, yet the humidity is low, the air is dry and there's no dew in the morning. The clouds are just so beautiful as they drift lazily past. We saw ice on Mt Kinabalu!
The flora and fauna here is abundant, fruits like champadak, rambutan, durian, banana, Langsat and pomelo are aplenty. Cooking has been great and the variety of insects is really incredible. There are so many species that I've never seen before, before dinner, my bme group played cards and laughed till our hearts content.
Day 8 1/10/05 Friday
Today we are going white water rafting! We left for Kiulu river to do white water rafting, there are 2 rivers to white-water raft in Sabah, one is the Padas level 3-4 river @ RM180, but they were on "budget" and we ended up going to the more boring Kiulu river, a level 2 river.
It was a 2 hr journey, and the water was pretty mild, 2 out of 6 level. The whole trip was rather mild, just a raft on water, but what was fun was the swim, the body rafting and the "war" that we had. Two of our boats attached each other. Pulling each other off their boats into the water, splashing each other and attacking like pirates. That was so fun, then later we had a really great buffet lunch before going back for a two hour trip back to the kindergarden. The view back was as fabulous as ever.
There was a really beautiful rainbow, and an unforgettable red sunset on our way back.
Day 9 2/10/05 Saturday
Today I woke up at 5am, prepared and did some PT and we took a hike up the mountain, the weather here is quite drastic, and changes are quite extreme. It can suddenly rain when it's bright and sunny and from cold rain into a blistering sunshine in minutes, most of us have already gotten used to the cold weather already.
So we climbed to the top of Kampung Kiau, but the clouds have covered the top of Mt Kinabalu. It wasn't a total waste, the hiking trip up was an interesting encounter for most, there were lots of vegetation, a true jungle hike up the mountain, seeing all sorts of fruits, rambutan, pineapple, rubber, langsat, durian, champadak and we walked into the clouds!
A lot of photos were taken and we returned back down the mountain brushing through the dense foliage. In the afternoon we rested before we went to play volleyball with the locals, it was quite fun and I played my part whilst some others went to the church for the cultural performance by the locals.
Day 10 3/10/05 Sunday
We woke up and I was supposed to take PT, but the other group was short-handed and as a group leader I had to go down to Kundasan to do some shopping for more food. The group leaders and I were on the same van to Kundasan.
All the major leaders were split up all over the place and there was no one to lead at the campsite. But I’m glad no mishap happened and construction is going rapidly and smoothly. At the start, the van broke down and it was a full half an hour before the gearbox was fixed with the help of friendly passer-bys. In Singapore, such a thing will never happened, everyone is cautious of each other and you'll never know when you will get conned. The other thing is also the slow relaxed pace of life over here, everyone takes it easy and no one bothers to look their gates, which consists of nothing but some bamboo sticks. Sometimes a slower pace of life that is simpler is also good, a low-stress life actually allows the locals to be happy and live to ripe old ages but in a developed country like Singapore, everything is so hectic and we're all plagued by medical maladies. The more we have, the more we want and the more unhappy we are the more complex our lives are.
Then our shopping trip was a great relaxed breakfast and chatting and we took some photos before going back on the 1 hr plus trip. Then I helped out installing the window pane louvers and all the workers today (there were more than 20!) were working out at full swing.
Day 11 4/10/05 Monday
Nothing much happened today, we had lots of fun taking photos with the clouds and did some construction work laying stones for the pathway. Not all of us could work at the same time and the guys came up with the term "eye-power!" to depict contribution by looking. Work was really great even though backbreaking. Zheng Quan livened up the mood with his singing and the clinic looks much closer to completion. Then at night we had a round of self-reflection and everyone was thanking everyone else. But today is the last day working on the clinic, the clinic looked much closer to completion now with the window louvers and walls installed. And we have all contributed our part in the construction of the clinic. We will be leaving for Mt Kinabalu tomorrow and today will be the last time we'll be at Kampung Kiau and I hope we leave it a better place and our memories preserved forever.
We took a lot of group photos as the sun set.
Day 12 5th October 2005
Today we are all packed up and ready to go to Kundasa to have lunch and that's where most of us bought a pair of insulated gloves. Then it was a 40min ride to Mesilau resort, omg it was really beautiful! That's beyond what words can describe. We're high up in the mountains, I would say about 2000m ASL, temperature is even colder than that at Kg Kiau, and the resorts are like paradise langkawi resorts, like a dream home where you just want to stay forever!
Initially, we were all already awed by the scenery and sight beyond and were already very happy with our dormitories en masse. Then the bad news, there was no water so we were upgraded to a better resort!!! WOW! The resort we were upgraded to was so much nicer! It was almost like a 5-star resort hotel with all accommodations, TV, heater (not air-con here), 2 story house, full bathroom, kitchen and stove and wooden furniture and dining table with 3 King-sized bedrooms complete with closets and dressing tables.
There were 3 resorts, 1 girls, 2 ours, and 3 the rest of the guys, and our resort was designated the central "command centre" where the logistics were kept.
Then we went for a short nature walk, we visited the small Mesilau river for some photos and later went out for dinner ala carte at the Mesilau visitor centre. The ambience was nice, the food was nice, but the only gripe was that the food took so long to come.
The ambient temperature was at 16 degrees! The lower air pressure at this altitude makes all the food packets bloated up and with so much water vapour in the air, its harder to breathe. You heart beats faster because of body heat loss.
Day 13 6th October 2005
Today we woke up, and started our climb through Mesilau gate at 8am. The whole trip was quite tiring, even after our lunch break, as we crossed the 4km make, we were beginning to wear down, but the view was very beautiful and we took 6 1/2 hours to reach laban rata, well within the 8hr time limit.
As we neared the 6km mark (200m) from Laban Rata, the weather detiorated severely, it became freezing cold and the rain made it worse, the thermometer read 6-9 degrees, and the strong wind and rain added to the chill factor.
Then at Laban rata even though it had the accommodations of a 1-star YMCA hostel, it was heaven to us, wet, cold, shivering, hungry and we had one of the best meals we had, no matter how simple, it was still a buffet dinner and the ambience was just like an American canteen where people of all races gathered together eating here at Laban Rata 3300m ASL.
But alas, we weren't staying at Laban Rata, we were going to another even cheaper hostel, but I'll take anything considering the fearsome weather out there. Even after dinner at Laban Rata, we were waiting out for the storm outside to calm down, the wind and rain was almost like a hurricane! The moment it died down slightly, it was a mad scramble for all of us to get ready to face the fearsome force of mother nature again, braving the pelting rain and raging winds, we made our way in semi-darkness for the last 200m up to Gunang Legadan. It was pathetic and we all swarmed into the hostel as if we were escaping bullets outside.
Inside wasn't much better, temperature was about 5 degrees, the floor felt like ice to the bare foot and every breathe we took had condensation. We slept in 4-bunk dorm rooms, I shared the room with Wilson, Kelvin and Yong Ming, after packing, we slept at 7pm, it will be a long day tomorrow.
Day 14 7th October 2005
Today we woke up at 1am, fully-dressed and armed and left at 2.30 am, I wore 5 layers, fully geared, with my food rations and torchlight in my pouches, my rain-cover covering my bag and a lightstick behind. It was an initial 3 hr climb in pitch black darkness, lead only by our ever dimming headlamps and it was a struggle for the last few hundred meters to the summit.
The weather worsened nearing the peak, it was foggy, visibility was down to several meters, my glasses fogged, my fingers were frozen, my heart thumping hard against my ribcage and my breathing ragged, every step was a struggle. When we reached the peak, it was a mixture of emotions, it wasn’t very large, the peak was only the size of 2 table-tennis tables and the sky was still dark, it was about -5 deg at the peak, and there was ice on our balaclavas!
I found that this climb up Mount Kinabalu is actually more tiring than Ophir. Why? Maybe Mt Kinabalu is 4 times higher than Ophir at 4095m and Ophir only 1414m. Actually the climb up mount Kinabalu isn't that physically strenuous, but the weather seriously hampered progress. Ophir is slightly more steeper, whereas Kinabalu is a gradual climb, but the thin air, water vapour, frigid temperatures made everything much tougher. If the weather was good and sunny at 15 degrees, I think mount Kinabalu wouldn’t be a problem at all, in fact it would probably be far more enjoyable, but we made it difficult for ourselves by climbing in pitch black darkness hoping to reach the peak to see the sun rise before dawn.
Unfortunately, bad weather, the fog and clouds blocked everything completely. We made our tenuous trip back to Gundang Legadan to pack and have our breakfast at Laban Rata, temperature at about 10 deg C Then it was a gradual 3 hr climb all the way back down and this time we went towards Timphomon gate.
The trip down was met with another sudden climatic change again to hot weather was again sudden. We met many porters going up along the way and many mid-life tourists! But it’ll be much easier for them now that the sun was up.
When we (finally) reached Timphomon gat, it was 1pm, we've been climbing up and down the mountain for the past 20 hours. I wonder why people do dumb things like climb up a mountain and then climb back all the way down. There has been no objective. But! It's the mental and physical accomplishment and the picturesque and awesome breath-taking scenery that no camera can fully capture that makes it all worthwhile. You actually feel younger on the mountain. That’s life, escaping the hectic and all the hustle-and bustle of our modern urban lifestyle.
We then took a jeep-taxi back to the headquarters and followed by another 2 hr trip back to KK with Samantha sleeping on my shoulder. Then back at KK, after putting our bags, we quickly went shopping! To buy our souvenirs and some food. Then back at the hotel, we had a 2am supper across the road.
Day 15 8th October 2005
Today we woke at 8am, and flew back to Senai airport, flight MH2619Y. Bringing a closure to the end of our YEP Sabah 2005 trip.
2:59 AM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I apologize for the lack of posts, but these few days I've been extremely busy, attending meetings and such, and I haven't had the time to update my readers on my Sabah trip. But rest assured, they'll come as soon as I've settled down.
Meanwhile here's a quick vibe of Singapore to appease your patience.
Adapted from Today, Mr Brown.
It's the season of the Great Singapore COE SalePlunging COE prices are sending Singaporeans delirious, but wait…
The COE has recently dropped sharply to between $11,000 and $12,000, much to the delight of many motorists.
If a foreigner were to see our faces now, he would ask, "Why are you Singaporeans so happy?"
"Because the COE dropped to the $11,000 range, so cheap! It used to cost as high as $35,000!" We would reply.
"What is this COE?" The foreigner would ask.
"It is a piece of paper that lets you buy a car to drive for 10 years! $11,000, wow, so cheap!"
"You mean it does not include the car itself?" The foreigner would look increasingly surprised.
"No, it is a piece of paper. $11,000 is really cheap for that piece of paper, ok?" says the happy Singaporean.
No wonder Singapore only got 54th place in a survey that graded the world's most liveable cities.
The research firm must have taken one look at the price of our cars and downgraded us on the spot.
As someone once joked, in Malaysia, they had to invest millions to produce the National Car, Proton, to sell it for $30,000. All Singapore needed to do was to sell the paper that lets you buy the car.
Who needs a national car when you can sell the national Piece of Paper to Buy a Car? Before you run our to put your money down on that new MPV, though, one needs to consider the many costs of car ownership in Singapore.
Yes, gentle reader, the cost of owning a car is more than just your monthly loan instalment. No matter what the car salesman would like you to believe. ("Mr Lee, see? $600 a month only!")
I mean, have you seen the price of petrol lately? Nowadays when you go to the petrol pump, and the attendant asks you if you want gold or Platinium, it really feels like you are paying for real Gold and real Platinium. It is enough to make you ask him, "Uncle, got Aluminium petrol or not?"
He would probably say, "Aluminium? Please
lah, even HDB is asking for Stainless steel, and you are asking for Aluminium? "
I remember buying Premium grade petrol, because I believed it made my car faster. Now with these prices, I am just looking for the cheapest grade my car can take without knocking. Point-A-to-Point-B grade petrol will do, thank you very much.
It's not like Singapore cars are meant to last more than 10 years anyway. And it's not like I can drive very fast these days too.
How to drive fast, I ask you? The traffic police are now armed with mobile cameras. There are jams caused by the morning rush hour, evening rush hour, the endless road works, and the never-ending circle line works.
Paya Lebar is not even a road to me anymore. Every few weeks, I find that the road has changed. Detours and turns appear overnight. I don't think there is even a part of the Paya Lebar stretch that is straight right now. I drive in a wavy manner to work every morning. I feel like I am in a computer game.
I have a theory why Microsoft did not do a map for Singapore in their Xbox driving game project Gotham Racing 2.
That console game had detailed racing maps for Hong Kong, Japan, Europe and the United States, but none for Singapore. Why?
Because gamers would never be able to race on a Singapore road.
Their virtual Aston Martins and Ferraris would be caught in a jam and they would be confused by the ever-changing road diversions.
And so what if you car is cheaper to buy? Would you be able to drive it anywhere without paying some kind of ERP fee in future?
They already made Orchard Road a separate ERP zone that lasts till the evening. Don’t laugh, you, that guy staying in Punggol – your turn next.
There is no such thing as a free lunch in Singapore. If the COE goes down, your costs will go up somewhere else.
Who knows, if the COE becomes too cheap, and we lose too much tax revenue, we may need to introduce the COE for the COE – Certificate of Entitlement to buy the Certificate of Entitlement.
So listen to me, don’t go rushing out to buy a new car, thereby driving up the COE prices again. It is very expensive to drive in Singapore; take more public transport.
If you need anymore convincing, look for me. I will be at a car showroom with the other 500,000 Singaporeans, looking for a car that will run on Aluminium grade petrol.
Mr Brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He believes that Singapore will feature in the next tinstalment of the driving game, Project Gotham Traffic Jam.
10:58 PM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Hey guys, I am back! I did alot at Sabah, built a clinic at kampung Kiau, visited the previous YEP project and Pulau Gaya, and for R&R, did snorkeling at Manukan, White water rafting at River Kilas and climbed Mount Kinabalu.
This will be a short entry, I have alot of work to resume, a backpack to unpack, 1000 mails to reply and delete, 2000 photos to edit and process, a grading to attend, and to consolidate my entries, the next few entries will be a more detailed entry about the happenings in Sabah.
Meanwhile updates, I got a satisfactory grade for my results. Which is all well.
Stay tuned.
11:46 AM
