Friday, October 28, 2005
Today I did etching in the morning, wearing the shirt garnered alot of unnecessary attention and I don't think other's look upon my attire with much appreciation. It's a shirt that brings about mixed emotions and probably unease and irritation.
I did some work, but wasn't personally satisfied with what I've accomplished today. It seemed insignificant. Later we had training, I think my behavior in class today was less than exemplary, I keep reverting back to my old bad habits and personality and I am cursed with such a monster in me. I've met this great guy and I've actually learnt a lot from him. I will have to learn even harder.
I want to say this, even though my project is not progressing rapidly now, I had a few pleasant dreams the day before, I dreamt about Ting Ting! This is only a dream, but it was so vivid and clear I had to convince myself it never happened.
We met in Kuantan on a wooden bridge surrounded by flora and fauna of the light jungle, a suspension wooden bridge over a gentle and rather shallow stream of clear mountain water. We met heading towards opposite directions, but somehow, we ended up walking the same direction, chatting about old happy times, breathing the fresh clean untainted air of mother nature and listening to the wonderful drone of birds chirping and the call of the chicadas. It was the most pleasant dream I've ever had this month with all the project work going around.
My closest friends will know what happened between us almost 5 years ago. We were close, until a force powerful enough to rip apart friends came between us. It's called betrayal and dissention. I won't go into specifics. If you are reading this and you know, then you know, if you don't, you don't. There's a dark side of my life that I don't wish to talk about, and maybe it's better to leave you all in suspense. Still I will always remember her for all the memories we shared and I respected her a lot. Even now I can still dream something like this.
I'll never forgive the person who did this to us.
It's called hatred.
11:51 PM
