Thursday, March 30, 2006
| You scored as Engineering. You should be an Engineering major!
Engineering | | 100% | Mathematics | | 92% | Philosophy | | 92% | English | | 92% | Psychology | | 83% | Biology | | 83% | Chemistry | | 83% | Art | | 75% | Theater | | 75% | Journalism | | 67% | Anthropology | | 67% | Linguistics | | 67% | Sociology | | 67% | Dance | | 50% |
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
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7:17 PM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Ok, I guess this is the last time I'll ever be posting my results from NP. The very last exam results are finally out and I am not very pleased with it. What am I to do? Just accept it I guess, it also means no more exams!
No 4-point GPA unfortunately. =( I got a B. I can't believe she gave me a B!!! I got pulled down by an IS module. =_=' I got a 3.89 GPA, (3rd worst) in 3 years. The rest were As and/or ADs. Anyway, the results mark the closure of NP examination life. Wish you guys all the best for your results.
Don't compare your results with others. If the results are what you've expected for yourself, or believe that whatever effort you have spent to deserve it, accept it. After all, if you didn't work hard enough, you still deserve it, if you had worked hard enough, you deserve those results as well. Don't whine. =) If it isn't that good, then work harder next time.
Haha, for me? There's no more "next time", at least not in NP anymore...
Alrighty, I'll be leaving for Malaysia, and a Class Chalet, will only be back next week. Have fun guys! It's my holiday time now after slogging for 3 years.
5:21 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Today I went to the RELC, it was a rather interesting place.
RELC history commemoration
RELC member country flags.
Next I went to the theaters on the bay, walking along the whole stretch trying to take some inspirational pictures.
Some wavy structure. I know this caption doesn't sound cool.
Singapore Ducktours.
A chinese junk passing by.
A plume of steam rising like an evil vortex from the chimney's of the UOB building...
The most picturesque picture that I attempted today. It feels so...
postcard like.
The whole day was actually quite pleasant and memorable. The scenery was less than picturesque, but sufficient enough that it was pleasant. The air was not exactly fresh, but it was quiet and peaceful without too many other souls to marr the solitude or privacy, neither were there concrete trees to marr the scenery. All in all, it was pleasant to be there in a semi-isolated area.
Actually I was happy in the day, just that the fatigue has gotten to me, when I went home at night I got so irritated. I received many sarcastic comments online about my spending and my lifestyle. It isn't the first time, but I think some have gone too far. I have no need to explain anything to anyone. There was more to this that what's written here, but I doubt if it's respectful to post it here. Angst should be bottled up inside, just writing what's on my nerves to get a pale picture.
Not only was that on my nerve, next was some other's irritating attitude, normally I wouldn't be irritated over such a few minor comments, but the above nearly pushed me off the edge, coupled with the lackadaisical attitude of several others involved in tomorrow's events, the unfair and uncouth comments from a friend's friend who has no right to judge me at all and her irresponsibility in punctuality is beyond appalling and not to mention that my computer was acting all wacky and completely restarting after several times. The pressure from the completion of the magazine is reaching a critical peak.
I feel that I was about to crack.
Sometimes I guess, only my dear diary can truly listen to everything I say. After all, it doesn't get angry, it doesn't shout back, it doesn't remark in sarcastic comments, it doesn't criticize, it doesn't whine or complain, neither does it accuse or hurt. A diary is completely understanding in every single way. Or maybe I am just burying my head in the sand pretending nothing is happening.
Whatever you want to say about me, go ahead. I am a little bit tired at defending myself all the time. I guess only true true friends know what they are saying and that separates them from the rest.
8:39 AM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Today I woke up. I had dreamt lots of dreams, and even though I can't remember what they were, I remembered they were unpleasant. The dreams smelt of Fear. Worries. Which is peculiar. What am I truly afraid of? Nevertheless it was powerful enough to rouse me out of bed.
I attended a number of activities over the past few days, but didn't have time to update, one of them was the TKD Annual General Meeting. So first I went to school to help them in their project, before leaving the BME centre, possibly for the last time.
Ok, at the AGM, we learnt of the final new committee members, then it was the certificate and prize presentation ceremony, somehow I felt that I haven't left nptkd honorably. There was something empty and missing. My friend was right, I think that's the reason it's because I didn't participate as a fighter in this year's IVP. After seeing the lacklusture fights in the light-weight catagory for this year's IVP tournament, I felt that if I had really gone down to fight, I would have been able to win a medal. Maybe if I had left Nptkd with a last passing medal from the IVP, I would have considered that honorable. Pathetic. What's the point of having good skills and training so hard if you have nothing to show for it. So what if you're good? Prove it. Unfortunately some people think that when they've won a medal they're very good.
That's why they fall in the end. Others like the BBs all thought it was a waste I didn't go and fight, actually I don't know how to face them about this anymore.
With my friends getting awards left right and centre, getting medals, I feel even more pathetic empty-handed. Some of their awards have prize money and all I got then was a pathetic cert without prize money. It's that inferiority-complex all over again. Now the only thing I can do is wait for the award ceremony during graduation.
Anyway, if I don't get a COM or any form of accolade during the graduation ceremony, I'll assume it's dishonorable and I'll never return to NP ever again.
Nowadays I don't know what to think about anymore. Like we drifted too far apart. Guess we all have been busy with our 3rd year. Next thing I would like to talk about that has been on my mind for quite a long time, bgr. What happens when cross the line to become more than friends?
When people become more than friends, they become lovers. For a guy to decide whether he should cross the time or not is probably one of the riskiest decisions he can make. He'll either lose a friend completely, or gain a lover. Can I afford to take that risk? Do I even have enough friends left to even decide taking such a risk?
I have been toying with that idea for a long time in my mind. The line was brushed. It was tense as I contemplated the gravity of the situation. For a fear that I have harbored in be due to past experiences, when the girl completely ignores you after you try to admit your emotions towards her and it went sour. It's worse than being rejected. You also lose a friend in the process. You lose some one. Something that takes years to build up can be lost in a matter of minutes, you lose something too invaluable to even fathom. Rejection is acceptable, but to put on the line a multiple-year long friendship? Can I afford to lose that gamble?
However if the girl said that if they were to really go into a relationship and it went sour, they would still be friends. I guess there is a little comfort in that, something like a backup insurance. But how much "loss" does that insurance policy cover?
That Friend-to-lover boundary line seems like a point of no return, even if there is a return, there will be emotional scarring that can never be healed. How much guts does it require for a guy to cross that line? The stakes at risk are only higher the longer the friendship has persisted. Especially if it's counted in years requiring the fingers of both hands to count. Or more.
The thin red line.
7:39 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
SiansationHow can I summarize today? First I slacked at home, then go to bme centre, then go for training, today was a very "sian" day. I feel like I've wasted my whole day away like just that. I am not growing younger... Dammit growing old already. Then at the training ground, there were so little people. See also "sian". "Sian" already, then don't feel like training already. This sentence is deliberately fraught with singlish to punctuate the mood.
10:11 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Yesterday I went to school. Hmm you may ask for what? Aren't all my lessons over? Yeah I am officially free, but I've agreed to come back and help guide my juniors with their fyp project. =) I also came back to crack my head for the grad magazine. Actually I don't even know why I agreed to work on it in the first place now that I've been bombarded with doubts of all magnitude. I am the Chief Editor for the magazine and overall designer. But why am I doing all this for? Especially for an unappreciative audience.
Well, "he" is just damn over-presumptuous, extremely sarcastic. He said "I believe you come from a well-to-do-family, so I guess you don't need my help". Well, he's basically NATO "NO-ACTION TALK ONLY". That's why he's not particularly popular with the students. Or maybe we just feel like he's an idiot.
Maybe I am the idiot to do the magazine in the first place. I guess I'll just have to endure that for a little while more till I finish the mag. Back to answering "why are you working on this in the first place, what do you have to gain?", hmm maybe I have nothing to gain, but remember, whatever you do for yourself will be forgotten, but if you do it for others, it will always been remembered. Ok so for the project, I told them the basics and theory and how to go about doing the project.
"How come I know?!" - This phrase has popped up too often. It's quite a weird question, but nevertheless I am always amused when people ask me that, haha information is power! Anyway I was feeling weird initially that there's no more school left. But here I am still in school.. When others are either working, or furthering their studies.
It's suddenly so un-cool to be unemployed.
But today I caught this!
I just love family movies, and this one really hit my sweet spot, I give it 3/5. It's hilarious with the "wars" raged between the two completely different families of different background, one a very liberal mum who believes in free-expression, and another dad who is a military admiral. And later we played some badminton.
I'll like to share this really meaningful song that seem to have touched my heart like "Why does the sun go on shining". It reflects very accurately on my current emotion. Actually I was fine all day, but an innocent question from a friend caused old memories tumbling back like an uncontrollable cascade. And not all of them are pleasant.
This is a song from "Komm Susser Tod by Evangelion". If you want it, get it from me.
I know, I know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought I could
live for no one else
But not through all the hurt and pain
Its time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything
So with sadness in my heart
I feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever
whats done is done, it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is ending
I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
cant live without the trust from the ones you love.
I know we can't forget the past
you cant forget love and pride
because of that its killing me inside
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down,
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down,
in my heart of hearts,
I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
everything
that matters to me,
matter in this world
I wish that I could turn back time
cos now all the guilt is mine
cant live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that, its killing me inside
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down
10:33 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
What have I been doing these 2 days? FX has been going around visiting the two local universities NTU and NUS, both offering really nice courses and it's a even battle between which university to choose from. But goodie bags galore, balloons aplenty!
As you can see from the picture below.
This was taken at NTU. (NUS only offered two balloon colours, humph.)
Next, concurrent events occuring simultaneously with the openhouse are the NTU Invitation IVP Taekwondo competition 2006. Our NP team has done us proud this year! We've reached all expectations and even more, performing the best ever in NP History by attaining 3rd overall. NTU (First), TP (2nd), NP (3rd!) We've overtaken NUS!
Medal Haul, 4 golds, 6 silvers, 7 bronzes.
The medal winners
NPTKD
All the participating instituitions, NTU, NUS, TP, NP, NYP, SIM, SMU, ITE
7:00 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Recently at the ITfair2006 held at Suntec. The offers were so unbelievably irresistable I completed my retail therapy for the whole month in one day! haha. Boxes of my new HP products...
7:53 PM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
No time to update recently. Will be busy for the next few days. But nevertheless, some pretty photos for you all to enjoy.
Until the next post.
8:55 AM
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Today is my 2nd last exam paper, and there'll be one more paper tomorrow before I am considered home free. Still, with the rising tide of anticipation, somehow my senses have been dulled to the happenings occuring around me. It's like. Graduation doesn't seem like a big deal after all, nothing seems like a big deal anymore. It comes and goes. Life still goes on. They just forever keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity.
Nevertheless, tomorrow is the last hurdle in 3 years and it's time to conclude my 3 years. Maybe I'll do it soon, plenty of time to do so after my last paper. Right? Meanwhile I'm going back to Biopolis to work for the duration while waiting to enter National Service.
A poem for those who think it's for you,
Strangers before, lovers and then, people become strangers again,
All things are gone before we know it,
We're always saying goodbye.
We all make friends, holding them dear,
But people change over times, friends disappear,
Life must go on, children must grow up,
We're always saying goodbye.
Rivers go on and on,
The sun always shines,
But just when we realize that we're out of time.
Why are we here?
Where do we go?
Just when we learn the little we know.
We're always saying goodbye.
Friends that we've made,
Things that we've said,
All of the happy times spent together,
We're always saying goodbye.
Now that we've come so far,
Life, love and dreams,
Our time has come for us to leave,
Little do we know, that we've got to go,
We're always saying goodbye.
We're always saying goodbye...
FX, written and dedicated to my BME, TKD and poly friends of 2003-2006.
6:53 AM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Two more days to go.
Eh. Don't ever accuse me of being a Piracy supporter. I've finally gotten her last CD into my collection.
Anyway, only two more papers to go! But I am sick of studying, so I went to setup my swanky new printer that arrived last night. I finally completed the installation amidst fighting a battle with tangling wires behind my computer desk. Oh well, ignorance is bliss.
Now I totally love my new printer! It's got direct scanning functions, so you just pop in something you want to scan, "select scan-to", and the programme automatically opens and in 20 seconds your image is scanned. Direct photocopying functions in colour! (I nearly freaked out when my dad tried to press the "copy-colour" button. Omg.) Anyways, it's now fully integrated into my house network, every computer has direct printing functions.
Suddenly with all the new functions the old printer didn't have, people wanted more! Like my printer will suddenly get up and sweep the floor and cook dinner?
I love my new printer, but my only grouse is that it's got no Auto-duplex paper handling mechanism. It can print full borderless colour photos, direct photo-printing from memory cards, auto-detect error and paper functions!! Hahaha.
Too bad it can't make coffee and wash my clothes for me though... Oh well.
12:02 AM
