Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
You fell helplessly in love, never left each other's sides. But now don't get to see each other as much anymore. How should you keep the love going?
It starts off innocently enough, boy meets girl, girl smiles at boy, boy gets electric shock and then bam! We've got another couple thanks to cupid's arrow. Okay, maybe it isn't always as clichéd as that, but you get the idea. As time passes, both of you grow as individuals, and so does the relationship. There might be quarrels here and there, but at least the love is still strong. That's when you're physically together. But there will come a time when you might not get to spend as much time with your partner as you like.
It doesn't mean the relationship has cooled down, it just means either one of you have a commitment that is eating into the time that you both might have once shared.
Common problems with teen couples in Singapore is the boyfriend being enlisted into National Service, requiring his other half to compromise meeting only on weekends instead of anytime. Sometimes the guy is too tired after a week of exhausting physical exertion in camp, he might not have the energy to meet you and would prefer to sleep instead. Or another problem could be a transition into a higher school level such as polytechnic or a junior college. Being thrust into a whole new environment, you and your partner will need to explore and adapt, which means less time together. Couples can also be separated geographically, leaving the country for studies or even permanently, this causes havoc to people in a relationship because chances of being physically close are nil.
Problems, temptations everywhere, the lesser time spent with the other half, the more time for your own, TV, games, all these are monotonous activities and sooner or later, you will crave for something more interesting, one could even become resentful about not being able to spend enough time with your partner, and could lead to picking up a new hobby or finding new "friends", or a new friend of the opposite sex. Risky.
Anger management issues, you love your partner, it's natural to spend time together. Being deprived could lead to a short-tempered grump. All hell breaks loose when a fight starts over the smallest issue, nasty names thrown back and forth. Not good. Legitimate reasons, school commitments, both will have to learn how to compromise and understand his or her partner's inability to spend as much time as they like with them. However, if you suspect your partner is avoiding for unexplained reasons, and then it may be time for you to trash it out, bitterness building up isn't healthy at all.
I love you.. not, being apart a few days is okay, a few weeks at a time is still manageable but being consistently away will eventually take a toll, there is less contact, hence feelings, thoughts and emotions are not conveyed to each other. Being physically apart consistently will cause the love to eventually die out, where's the fun in the relationship if you can't be physically together?
So what should you do if the above circumstances occur in your relationship? There are a number of things you could do, you could keep your partner involved in your life, a simple Sms or a phone call a day will help tremendously. Or even sharing a blog where either partner can log in to update the other on their daily activities, would help if both are in different parts of the world.
Doing the small little things like the girlfriend tidying up the closet for her boyfriend, baking cookies or just going out to have dinner together will score extra points. A little effort goes a long way.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or get involved in some shared activities; something both of you enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccer with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if your girl asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If you're spending more time with your friends rather than with your partner, it's a warning sign that you're drifting apart!
=) Let the love blossom!!
6:52 AM
