Friday, March 16, 2007
Whew, it's finally the end of another long week and we practically spent almost everyday practicing mounting and dismounting the PSTAR. Nights were filled with bad dreams after another exhausting day. Retiring to bed seems like an ironic statement.
I was particularly perturbed by a dream was probably reflected in real-life when my week went badly, due to my frustration and weariness I burst out against my own partner.
What have I really done wrong for the week? How did I manage to put myself in such an ostracized situation? Now I am not speaking to my very own buddy. Once good friends, easy-going, with no lack of topics of discussion, now in such a stark difference.
Now that the week has come to an end, I think I really know who are the real people and friends who will come to me when I am really down and under.
On Wednesday after a lousy session of PSTAR and my outburst. Even though I put in the effort for the PSTAR, I felt very unfairly treated over a small and trivial matter instead for minor mistakes and faults committed, it wasn't even something that I did! On Wednesday night I went to the mess pretty much alone to cool down and had a lonely dinner to fill my stomach after I tossed a full plate of dinner into the bin.
In the Armed Forces. It's all about the image. It's all about the bloody image! As an officer you must always make sure your uniform is spic and span, your language is as clean as a whistle and the Armed forces spends hundreds of thousands in pretty ceremonies, lavish dinners and elaborate decorations while neglecting combat equipment.
Whatever it is, it's really stupid and dumb and everyone is still two-faced. Even as National Servicemen! Well at least that test showed that he is really another two-faced person with his own selfish goals.
I wonder is the 3.9GPA guy another such person? After what I've written the last time about 3.9-pointers it's still hard to judge his character and personality profile in fitting my description of such people.
Can you believe it's so.... frustrating and I am only a cadet! Politics is everywhere and it's already evident in my course... and we're only NS men! The higher you go up the hierachy, the more pervasive it gets. What's there to gain? or maybe my perspective of the overall training with my fellow cadets is too narrow and constricted?
9:18 AM
