Tuesday, June 05, 2007
This is the last week in OCS before commissioning this Saturday. In the blink of an eye, 2 weeks of Joint term has flown past! So far everything is relatively smooth. The first week of joint term, we were re-adjusting to the different pace of life in OCS that was relatively different from AFS. Everything was more hectic and rushed, schedules fully packed.
Nevertheless, the past week has been a mixture of long lectures, commissioning parade rehearsals, 5-min lunches and running about getting stuff done in preparation for the comms parade. I have totally no time to do proper reflections in my diary and merely listing down our activities for the day. Somehow without time to reflect and think about my own thoughts and actions for the day, which has been dragging on for over the month, I seem to be slipping in self-integrity. I must restart my self-reflection to move ahead with my personal morals and integrity. How to be a better person when I am just occupied with so many activities? My days are full yet my life feels largely empty now. I know I have a lot to do, but are they fulfilling? I still have a lot to do in preparation for the commissioning this Saturday. It's our big day.
Many guys despite knowing that we are going to commission very soon, still lack the necessary discipline and initiative. Not falling in on time and not carrying themselves worthy as officers. Do they deserve to be officers? But we've all survived 8 months and 3 weeks of grueling training, but then again the Air Force doesn't build the same kind of camaraderie that the army does and even up till now, after basic term, pro term and now in Joint term, we still have prejudices against others within our own ranks. Am I truly ready to be an officer?
Parade rehearsals have been sporadic and manageable but increasing in intensity and taking a toll on our resistance and stamina. People are falling sick left right and centre.
But despite all that, we had a reprieve at night, all the ex-Alpha cadets (including me) were invited to the Alpha BBQ! All of us, since Tri-service term, when I left for Air-Wing, and when the other guys left after service term to their specific arms to continue to their pro-term, almost all of us turned up tonight and we had BBQ, food, drinks and live music! They also played all the videos made during the Alpha times and that really brought back all the memories!
I chatted up with my old buddies though all the past bonds are all gone. I guess it's still nice to be recognized by them. I can still remember the first 3 weeks in Alpha Wing where my buddy and I would be there for each other, doing RO at night together, looking out for each other. Just 3 weeks together forged a stronger bond between us than 7 weeks with others in Air-Wing or even 6 months together in AFS with my other buddies.
I missed that, but it's all gone now that we've been apart for almost 7 months. Two weeks of training in Alpha was definitely tougher than 2 months of training in BMT!
I guess all I have left of Alpha are the memories, it was nice back then.
I met Stephen (Ms Leong's Tuition class back in secondary school), oh my god, people still remember me from then! That was so many years ago and I have no inkling of any memories of him, but he can still remember me as the crazy guy who runs up the 21 flights of steps to the tuition class. Sigh, though it's nice to be remembered by someone so long ago, (did I make such a deep impression in him?) But what's it going to do? He'll just become another acquaintance that we won't keep in contact anymore after tonight. Maybe a hi-bye on the streets if we bump into each other, but nothing more than that.
Is this how it's going to be when something happens to my relationships or if I go overseas to study? Will I lose my friends the way it happened in OCS?
2:22 AM
