Wednesday, November 28, 2007
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.
12:21 AM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tolerance Tolerance ToleranceIt's always bad when your superior officers are hanging around you with nothing to do and you have no where else to go but to withstand and endure the excruciating onslaught of verbal nonsense that serves to corrode your brain away in the armed forces only good at wasting time.
Officers who are bored will come up with all sorts of incredulously-stupid and totally idiotic subjects to infuriate the hell out of you because you can't do anything about it but cringe in despair, desperation and distaste.
And you can't do anything about it but answer in the least disparagingly-inordinate manner while maintaining your composure with responses favorable to your superiors ears no matter how BIG the lie is.
It's my third day on site, quietly protecting our country's skies while everyone goes about their daily unsuspecting routine, and protecting all the diplomats and various heads-of-state politicians on their hand-shaking overseas trip here for their summit meeting.
I settled in for a routine day that in the passing, working on my SATS and taking cat naps in between. When night fell, my superior was obviously bored and kept irritating me asking me about my relationships which are very sensitive. He kept pestering me, wasting my time the whole night in the process but I kept diverting the issue but with BSM spurring him and stroking the fire, it was a constant effort from me to edge away from the issue. Damn damn irritating, up till now, he hasn't done anything and not gained any form of respect from me at all.
I learnt a bit about him in the process, he is a callous, useless, couldn't-care-much-about-others in life and is a superficial, selfish person. His academic qualifications are probably mediocre from the way he puts it, all in the passing with no passion in that particular field, that was probably why he signed on the first place, I highly doubt the integrity of his academic qualifications.
He even openly declared that he despised "researcher", citing them to be "re-search", meaning to search for other people's works and put it as their own. I found myself aggravated by that highly degradatory remark. What the hell, without research, how are you going to advance in science at technology?
Speaking about that, turns out that he is quite a techie, which again is quite an oxymoron. Without development, research, do you think are get to use your $2000 laptop, or your 3.5G pda hand phone?! Yet he claims he doesn't care or bother, someone has to do it, someone will be doing it.
I find this lackadaisical, couldn't-be-bothered attitude very infuriating, and my respect for him has gone beyond that of non-existent. I felt like retorting but held back. What are YOU going to achieve? You speak like you have goals and visions and dreams, yet all I see is another average family-man who cares more about himself than anything else. With a poor attitude towards everything else not directly related or affecting him. I see a person who skimmed through his studies and fabricated results from non-existent subjects of interest with the minimalist and superficial of understanding. I see someone without a proper goal or any form of substantial achievements whatsoever criticizing someone else.
Lets see, in years to come what you will become, maybe a colonel? Wearing that flashy uniform with shiny epaulettes on your shoulder? Doing what? Bossing around others and not achieving anything else in the process while you try to skive off work by delegating what is yours to others.
I was glad he spent the night in his flashy car, complaining in the process of the incessant mosquitoes. These are heartland mosquitoes! They're not even jungle-hardened, and you, a senior officer... a military man... ...complaining?!
I slept an unpleasant and fitful night in an uncomfortable environment.
9:15 PM
Monday, November 19, 2007
Am I thinking too much? Maybe I am, my brain today has been filled with all sorts of engineering problems and approaches that I would really like to do, such as the water-cooling problem that I want to attempt to cool the computers in the house, but the main obstacle will be cost, with costs going past $500, it's not a hobby that I can dive straight into.
My mind is swimming with flow-rate calculations, thermo-electric coefficients, thermal density flux, heat-load, fluid thermal-conductivity and density, surface-area matrix, costs and thermal-loading ratios, critical air turbulence, closed or open loop, double or single pass fluid diagrams, fluid forks and radiators...
After doing all the online research all day, my head has been swimming with all sorts of ideas and designs that I just can't wait to do.
The other things I want to do are to strap on a jet engine onto a bicycle! Like the JetCat engines, and other engineering problems that will be faced as well, then again, the main obstacle is cost. With the bicycle probably costing $1000 or more, and each jet engine with a price-tag of $6000 or more not including the required accessories.
Now this interests come with a completely different set of engineering approaches and problems, but nonetheless just as interesting, such as fuel-flow control, turbine spooling, pyrometry, oil pressure, combustor ramping etc.
But with both projects off my budget scale, I don't think I'll be attempting these 2 projects anytime soon, what a shame, I need money!
That's where the need and the urgency for me to apply for universities come in. I am starting to receive all my freshman packages for NUS. But I don't want to study there, in fact I want to study in the states and all I've been doing so far is procrastinating my online applications.
A long time ago, I had a dream university, then all the stories I heard of really put me off going to that place. You need at least a 3.98 GPA; be a sub-author of 2 papers, have a near-perfect SATS score and at least 3 recommendation letters from acknowledged and reputable lecturers/professors sources.
Then after some research, I heard about the world's number 1 university, Stanford. Of course it would be nice going there, but of course, it's another impossible dream.
Quite some time ago I wrote about top students, the 5 profile points that the top students always have save for some exceptions, but the majority is the same.
If you have forgotten, I surmised that top students follow these 5 points:
1) They are foreigners, hence the main goal of coming to our dear country is to work hard and get that coveted certificate.
2) They are the only child, usually foreigners have more well-to-do families back in their homeland.
3) They are older than their peers, yes, that applies in all facets of our local education arena.
4) They do not have a CCA, why have something to distract you from the main goal? Interests are secondary.
5) They are not involved in a romantic relationship, you do not travel all the way here from your country to get entangled in other distractions.
They are mature and objective oriented. Then again they are 3.9-pointers. No matter how many people like to compare my poly results and liken it to a 3.9, I am still not a 3.9 pointer.
I know what I just wrote above will infuriate some readers, but I am a native living in this small little red-dot myself, competing with the influx of talented foreigners, even though I have nothing against them, I do feel the strain myself.
What is the difference between 3.8 & 3.9? The 3.9's have very focused interests that are not diversified, with only one or two hobbies and pastimes at most. They have little or one recreational hobby, they are very structured, organized, focused on a particular and singular goal.
But I am not. I am easily distracted along the path to my goal with other lucrative interests and problems just to prove a particular point or achievement. 3.9 pointers don't bother about achievements, they want something, they go about getting it, anything else they achieve along the way are merely bonuses.
Now the most important and pressing issue will by my future studies. So what do I really want? What are my interests? Will I get it? What if I don't? What's my backup? MUST I really go there?
Hmm, so far, my inner voice says, yes. I must go there and I can't stay here. I've done countless self-reflections and have found that every time I get back to the same conclusion. Is that if I study in this country, I will be very unhappy.
Talking about happiness.
What is happiness? Getting what you want? Then why isit every time I manage to get what I want, I am not happy? Happy times are always short-lived and almost always come to an abrupt, unexpected, halt.
We can never predict the future, but we can always simulate and calculate the most probable path to go, then again, there will be many forks, Y-junctions, obstacles, trips, distractions and then our best friend fate will have that unexpected nudge that diverts you from your original path in life.
So what can we expect in the near future? After studying for another 4 years, you come back to square one. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely going down that path, just how is the question. So what have you achieved along the way? Knowledge and grades?
Then comes 2011, fresh out of university and thrown right into the farce of the working community, will be another thing to look forward to..
Why do I even bother thinking so far? I don't even know where I am going to next.
Why am I so fuddled, I must be thinking too much.
3:03 AM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Bracing a StormToday I was the officer in charge of a missile site. It was going to be a quiet and rather uneventful day.
I got my men to go downstairs to rest because they were not needed ontop. After doing some necessary maintainence chores, I settled in for a day of reading and sleep.
I spent the whole day on the rooftop, making myself comfortable with 2 fans, and later in the afternoon, the roof was hit by a major storm coming in from the Changi direction, I could actually see the dark clouds looming ominously in the distance as it slowly closed up, and then before long, strong gusts of wind buffeted the roof as I got into action, hastily placing sandbags to anchor the tent that threatened to blow off. It was all very exciting! Like struggling to prepare for an onslaught of a hurricane.
There was lightning flashing everywhere, all around me, and I was actually glad I was alone and the other guys were below in relative safety. It was quite exciting to be up there all alone and my excitement factor was raised as I was securing the tarp over the sandbags, a lightning bolt struck the lightning arrestor on the block right beside mine!
That was the epitome! It was a loud bang as if a GPMG went off or someone threw a thunderflash at your feet, the bang made me instinctively duck downwards from where I was! I didn't see the bolt directly, but when I looked up the arrestor had sparks arcing off it, as if it was an upside-down fireworks fired from the sky, totally awesome! Now that I think about it, I think what I did reflexively would have seem rather stupid, but haha it was exciting! A lightning bolt struck right onto the building next to me! Oh man, if that was the bang, I can't imagine what would have happened if the bolt struck the arrestor that I was standing next to instead.
Then after all that, I hunkered down in the tent, watching the mesmerizing thunderstorm in the distance and admiring all the lightning bolts flashing nearby, it was like a large psychedelic synchronized lighting display!
I didn't really think of the danger, considering I was the only one of the rooftop in a high-lightning risk environment, in fact I thought of that to be rather exciting!
Then the rain started like natures wrath and the skies took revenge on earth. Visibility went down to a hundred yards and I just sat there in the tent watching leaks form on the command tent, hearing the unrelenting wind howl outside, feeling the spray of the rain on your face, hearing rapid lightning cracks in succession nearby, the occasional crack of a nearby bolt hitting something that will make you jump, (reminds me of an ion storm from the computer game
Tiberian Sun.) and the skies opened up it's floodgates.
But as night fell, the storm moved on and went inland towards the city. And peace reigned on the rooftop again.
Hmm, it was a solemn and quiet night in the passing, just another day on another rooftop protecting our motherland's skies.
10:10 PM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
I can't help but really write this entry during the course of my Hiatus. Hopefully it will be read.
What facebook is turning us all into
Before friendster, (or MySpace or facebook or whatever) came along, we'd actually talk to our friends. We'd call each other up, make plans for drinks or dinner, hang out abit, and when the night was over – if we were still sober – we'd say, “Hey, I'll catch you soon,” and then make good on that promise a few months down the road.
These days, instead of good, old-fashioned "catching up", we just throw sheep at each other. Or turn each other into vampires. That's how we keep in touch – we hurl metaphorical ruminant at our buddies and affectionately turn them into the Undead. I'd hate to think what goes on inside Enemyster.com.
Don't get me wrong, I am drawn to the dark side as well, having a friendster, Hi5, zorpia, everyonesconnected and facebook accounts myself. (Not that I don't check them very often), every now and then an email will pop up, where one of my friends has very pleasantly sent an invitation for me to "JOIN NOW!", and I will unwittingly just click the "ok" button, and voila, in a matter of seconds, I have a new account in what-ever-keep-in-touch.com
But now of course, the latest fad in this internet-socionetworking arena is facebook, where I am just amazed at the number of application invitations I get everytime I login. It's very surprising though, everytime I go in, I get "bashed", either someone throws me a teapot, or uses "the force" on me, or turns me into a werewolf or throws a sheep at me whatever, poor me getting bashed online.
It's all good fun, of course, and it sure beats not keeping in touch at all. But let's face it guys, one of the biggest reasons why internet networking portals appeal to us is because of the profiles of all the people we don't even know. A photo of a god-looking girl will draw you into her complete profile faster than you can say "superpoke!" Let's not forget, though, that while you're checking out her photos, news feeds and Scrabulous scores, she might very well be checking yours out – bad news if your vocabulary isn't exactly puissant.
And by the way "puissant", means potent or powerful, will earn you 36 points across a triple-word score. Only silly vampiric sheep can understand it.
1:47 AM
