Monday, November 19, 2007
Am I thinking too much? Maybe I am, my brain today has been filled with all sorts of engineering problems and approaches that I would really like to do, such as the water-cooling problem that I want to attempt to cool the computers in the house, but the main obstacle will be cost, with costs going past $500, it's not a hobby that I can dive straight into.
My mind is swimming with flow-rate calculations, thermo-electric coefficients, thermal density flux, heat-load, fluid thermal-conductivity and density, surface-area matrix, costs and thermal-loading ratios, critical air turbulence, closed or open loop, double or single pass fluid diagrams, fluid forks and radiators...
After doing all the online research all day, my head has been swimming with all sorts of ideas and designs that I just can't wait to do.
The other things I want to do are to strap on a jet engine onto a bicycle! Like the JetCat engines, and other engineering problems that will be faced as well, then again, the main obstacle is cost. With the bicycle probably costing $1000 or more, and each jet engine with a price-tag of $6000 or more not including the required accessories.
Now this interests come with a completely different set of engineering approaches and problems, but nonetheless just as interesting, such as fuel-flow control, turbine spooling, pyrometry, oil pressure, combustor ramping etc.
But with both projects off my budget scale, I don't think I'll be attempting these 2 projects anytime soon, what a shame, I need money!
That's where the need and the urgency for me to apply for universities come in. I am starting to receive all my freshman packages for NUS. But I don't want to study there, in fact I want to study in the states and all I've been doing so far is procrastinating my online applications.
A long time ago, I had a dream university, then all the stories I heard of really put me off going to that place. You need at least a 3.98 GPA; be a sub-author of 2 papers, have a near-perfect SATS score and at least 3 recommendation letters from acknowledged and reputable lecturers/professors sources.
Then after some research, I heard about the world's number 1 university, Stanford. Of course it would be nice going there, but of course, it's another impossible dream.
Quite some time ago I wrote about top students, the 5 profile points that the top students always have save for some exceptions, but the majority is the same.
If you have forgotten, I surmised that top students follow these 5 points:
1) They are foreigners, hence the main goal of coming to our dear country is to work hard and get that coveted certificate.
2) They are the only child, usually foreigners have more well-to-do families back in their homeland.
3) They are older than their peers, yes, that applies in all facets of our local education arena.
4) They do not have a CCA, why have something to distract you from the main goal? Interests are secondary.
5) They are not involved in a romantic relationship, you do not travel all the way here from your country to get entangled in other distractions.
They are mature and objective oriented. Then again they are 3.9-pointers. No matter how many people like to compare my poly results and liken it to a 3.9, I am still not a 3.9 pointer.
I know what I just wrote above will infuriate some readers, but I am a native living in this small little red-dot myself, competing with the influx of talented foreigners, even though I have nothing against them, I do feel the strain myself.
What is the difference between 3.8 & 3.9? The 3.9's have very focused interests that are not diversified, with only one or two hobbies and pastimes at most. They have little or one recreational hobby, they are very structured, organized, focused on a particular and singular goal.
But I am not. I am easily distracted along the path to my goal with other lucrative interests and problems just to prove a particular point or achievement. 3.9 pointers don't bother about achievements, they want something, they go about getting it, anything else they achieve along the way are merely bonuses.
Now the most important and pressing issue will by my future studies. So what do I really want? What are my interests? Will I get it? What if I don't? What's my backup? MUST I really go there?
Hmm, so far, my inner voice says, yes. I must go there and I can't stay here. I've done countless self-reflections and have found that every time I get back to the same conclusion. Is that if I study in this country, I will be very unhappy.
Talking about happiness.
What is happiness? Getting what you want? Then why isit every time I manage to get what I want, I am not happy? Happy times are always short-lived and almost always come to an abrupt, unexpected, halt.
We can never predict the future, but we can always simulate and calculate the most probable path to go, then again, there will be many forks, Y-junctions, obstacles, trips, distractions and then our best friend fate will have that unexpected nudge that diverts you from your original path in life.
So what can we expect in the near future? After studying for another 4 years, you come back to square one. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely going down that path, just how is the question. So what have you achieved along the way? Knowledge and grades?
Then comes 2011, fresh out of university and thrown right into the farce of the working community, will be another thing to look forward to..
Why do I even bother thinking so far? I don't even know where I am going to next.
Why am I so fuddled, I must be thinking too much.
3:03 AM
